I have about six weeks until the end of my first year of grad school.
I’m firmly standing on the line between relieved and petrified. Relieved because one of the most roller-coaster experiences I’ve had well, probably since senior year of Wes, will soon be behind me. Petrified because I’ve got 3 projects, 4 papers, and what I’m sure will be a shitton of stress until the end. Especially since getting accepted to the Paris program was the easy part. Now I’ve got to figure out exactly how long I’ll be in Europe (gotta buffer time to visit Alex and maybe other friends scattered all about plus hopefully hit up a festival or two), buy a ticket (all hovering around $900 which makes me sad), do all the school paper work, line up a summer job to save enough money that the euro-dollar exchange rate doesn’t make me cry, figure out what to do with my apartment for 2 months, and then go! My mind is reeling with every logistics thought that pops in.
It was really just one of those weeks though. My SF trip high faded fast once I realized my desktop got fucked up somehow while I was gone. The system recovery disks I ordered still aren’t doing the trick a week later and I’m dreading having to take it to get repaired and get a $500 bill. I didn’t even pay that much for the damned tower! But, unless I find some miracle fix online, I’m basically shit out of luck. And the weather was especially crappy this week. My old lady bones needed tons of drugs to base level function and the never-ending throb just made me really stressed and irritable. It thankfully cleared up as the week went on and I felt sorta like normal by last night.
All I really want to do is listen to some music and ride around on my bike on some nice spring days in the park. I have to keep reminding myself to breathe at this point and not feel like everything needs to be handled all at once. But I do need to hack away at this stuff bit by bit. After all, they sleep, we grind.