Kitty Power

Every Day Is Saturday Night

I’m annoyed. (A quick aside, I often think how fun it would be to have some Movable Type hack – yes, I am a blog nerd, And what? – where you could have mood displays a la Live Journal. And then I think, well first of all, my mood would usually be annoyed, so it’d just be redundant. And also, I can save that for my real LJ where I can go on and on and on in private and non-cryptically. So, this is a dumb aside basically. My prerogative. Whatevs.)
It’s a shame I’m salty because things are really not bad. My new favorite pastime is podcasts by East Village Radio, Stones Throw, and XLR8R. New to me – or even, memory jogging – music is always good in my book. Hours and hours of fun that is. The weather is nice, really nice. I had a good weekend split between much needed rest and reconnecting with folks. Brunch and a nice stroll through the nabe even fit in there. I saw a fun show by Kenna
last week at the new Luna Lounge and had the loveliness that is an Iona cider. I ran into one of the few Wes kids who it isn’t (that) painful to see and I had a funny text convo with Justin when I got fooled by hisdoppelganger. He said he was at PB&J and I was confused about that until…er, about 20 minutes ago. I’m so out of the loop with what the kids are listening to nowadays.
Anyway, I think it’s just one of those states where the good is awesome and the bad fucking pisses me off. The problem (if it can even be called that) stems from being a little too focused right now. I had myself on overdrive and did what I had to do, so now it’s like I’m in that mode and I don’t know if it’s worth it to slip out. I feel like my game has been elevated and now I don’t want to go back. Still, I know there’s a significant amount of fun missing. I just feel stiff or something. I guess that’s to be expected. It’s been a big two months for me. So, I’m just a bit restless and impatient. I don’t have it in me to wait around and hope I make square pegs fit in round holes. I’m tired of settling
and being jerked around. That’s how I spent most of the past three years at the wrong jobs and being with the wrong people and spending too much time feeling bad. I’m not exactly sure what I want, just that Ihaven’t found it yet. Clear as mud, eh?

One Comment

  1. Ah, it is all about choosing – and the very uncomfortable feeling of being free. What to do with all that space?
    I don’t know: explore it?