T. S. Monk – Bon Bon Vie
That’s my new favorite song. I’ve known it for years, but while I was browsing the goods I couldn’t bring myself to drop tons of cash on in the Adidas store in Miami, the DJ put it on and I cornered him to get the name. I came back to NY and Soulseek wasn’t being helpful and Bill thankfully gave it to me. It’s such a strange song, very upbeat music with some really depressing ass lyrics. It fits what I’m going through right now.
I’ve been holding a post in draft all week because I couldn’t find the right words/tone or encrypt things like I usually do. I’m going through a really bad time and I can’t write cute around it. I just feel lately like every good thing that happens to me has some swift negative counter and it’s bringing me down.
Miami was great, warm fun (minus the hotel losing my reservation, the fruitless lines at the Scion parties and getting shafted at hotel bars — no matter how many times I go, $12 well drinks will never be okay). A highlight was making a friend at the Robert Owens show and geeking over the artist behind Strings of Life. Yay house and techno!
My doctor was harassing me while I was down there and I made an appointment with her for the Friday after I got back. I started seeing her over some random phantom pain in my knee that had been bothering me for a while. She did a complete physical (I’m fat and weigh a lot more than I used to, no shit) and took a heap of blood and got the results while I was away. It turns out that my joints are fucked and I have an appointment with a specialist to see if it’s a bad disease or a worse one. Um yay? ETA: It’s the mild version of bad. In case you were sitting on the edge of your seat or something.
Funny thing about Friday, I also got laid off that day. I was having a hellish week back at work and totally swamped with work. My boss walked up to me at 6:15 all “can I talk to you for a second?” and I said no because I had a shitload to finish by 7. Yet she was insistent and I went to find out to my surprise that I was out of a job. I don’t even know how I felt. I was pretty relieved yet also frightened since being out of a job when you might potentially be really sick is no good. My work friends rallyed for me at the local bar and that was nice. Despite my evil boss and being overworked and grossly underpaid, I liked my job and most of the people there. It makes me sad to have that suddenly taken away from me, but I’m not really worried about landing on my feet. It’s weird being home during the day. I’ve working more or less straight for the past 10 years, so I almost don’t know what do with myself without a job, even if part of me just wants to fucking relax and write like I never have time for and collect unemployment for a minute. Instead, I’ve been applying and doing interviews and thinking about where to apply. I don’t think I know how to relax sometimes.
Last night was the Battles/Prefuse/Soft Circle show at the Bowery. The show sold out last week (over the weekend? I dunno), something I didn’t discover until I checked online to get the box office address to go buy a ticket. I made new friend off Craig’s List (off the strictly platonic section, pervs) and got to go. (Thanks again, E!) I’ve heard a lot about Soft Circle, but never heard the music until yesterday. It was pretty rad, one man band drumming with droning vocals and electronics. Prefuse did a drum-less set with him and two dudes on the turntables/mixers/electronics. One of them was this DJ from LA called The Gaslamp Killer. Last year in Miami, he DJed this party I went to and dude’s an experience. He’s like a mixtape come to life or something. After/during/between a song, he starts with the hype man shouting business. It’s half entertaining, half annoying. Battles was great also, but by the time they took the stage, I was already over the edge of drunkenness with no return. A fun result of that: I ran out of cash in my pocket, so I used to my credit card to buy a drink I didn’t need. And to kill the tab, I bought drinks for Prefuse, Beans, and some of their friends. How random.
As I vaguely feared, I ran into the boy at the show. He rolled up on me when I was chatting with E before the show started and I eyed the drink in his hand really warily. He said that he read the email (actually MySpace message) that I had sent him, but he’d been busy and hadn’t had time to respond (whatever, fuck him). I didn’t really say anything in return and for once in his life, he took a hint at the awkwardness and went away. I ran into his friend (the one I’ve seen at Sputnik a few times and have a pretty good relationship with considering) and told him about the job situation, so when I ran into the boy again later, he said: “sorry to hear about your job, but you’re one of the most resourceful people I know, so I’m sure it’ll work out for you.” Which was nice, but way to pass on my bad news, friend! We had a nice conversation which was strange and I said as much. He invited me over to hang out with him and his friends and I didn’t. I feel good about the whole thing though. I wanted a nice postscript to the whole thing and now I have it. I’d rather look forward to something new than keep looking back.
The end of the show is a drunken blur. Somehow somewhere I fell and hurt my elbow and sorta broke my phone (thank god for cell insurance!). I cabbed it home and woke up in bed fully clothed. I’ve spent most of the day convinced that I lost my phone and was inconsolably hysterical for hours (missed two phone interviews also…yay me), but there it was randomly a few minutes ago when I bent down to get my fallen pen, off and taunting me. Meh. At least it’s here. Sometimes shit just works out…sooner or later.
T. S. Monk – Bon Bon Vie