Kitty Power

Just Say No

I’ve always had a bit of an uneasy, occasionally amused relationship with babies. I guess they’re okay in the abstract sense. I was one, my brother more recently was a cute one. Sometimes I run into them and they make funny faces or whatever, but I usually try not to think of them at all. They’re in that same zone of things I’d rather not have my downright laissez-faire existance intruded on and the whole “where is my life going?” crisis set off that, like marriage and responsibility. Bad, bad words.
I was getting slighty afraid to notice lately that I’d softened considerably towards the kidlets I see around. They were making me smile and make those cooing sounds I save for the cat usually. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I asked myself. “We’re just being weird. Don’t let them suck us into the vacuum! Turn back that biological clock!” So, fate stepped in.
My Secret Santa person around the office was this pregnant lady about to go off on maternity leave. Yoiu want to know how connected am I to my office/co-workers? I didn’t even know she was pregnant until like 2 weeks ago when I overheard someone asking how far along she was. I just thought the waddle walk was caused by average issue weight gain. The floor holiday lunch turned into a secret baby shower and I decided to just kill two birds with one stone and get something from Buy Buy Baby since it’s about a block from where I work.
That place is…weird. Baby crap everywhere with the faint sickening smell of formula. It kinda made me sick just to be in there. I paid for my gift and got the hell out of there. I could almost feel my ovaries shriveling and began to feel like everything was right with the world. Now the little devils invoke a feeling of terror. I try to avoid eye contact and the cute net. I see their evil schemes: first, they want to pop our your vagina and then, they’ll take all your money. No thanks. Stay in your world, babies, and I’ll stay in mine.

One Comment

  1. *snort*
    fuck off, babies! you make me frightented, and scared, and NOT A WOMAN! go away bad dream!!!!!