Kitty Power

Moving Along

Says The Peanut Gallery, “what’s that blog meta shit about? We don’t really care. Can we move along please to things that would make our time wasting go faster please?” “Sure, no probs,” says I, the proprietress.
Two weeks into the new place and things are going sorta swimmingly. Ant and I are having fun and trying to work out a system for household things. We’re a couch and a futon away from being totally furnished. We finally got the gas and electric switched over to avoid some pesky blackout type sitches (I’d like to joke that we don’t cook, but I was all over the stove last week. The oven, on the other hand, is for pot storage. That probably won’t change until around the Housewarming when I bake a cake or something. Or just act like I did and pick up something from a local supermarket. But, pretend you didn’t read that.) and the cable/(legal) net/phone triple whammy (courtesy of Cablevision who just added our block last week) is coming this weekend. Apartment life during the blizzard was sure toasty, but I was climbing the walls after being stuck in the house from just after work Friday night to off to work Monday morning. The wireless kept drifting in and out and we were running around trying to find ideal signal positions. We’re gonna suck it up and pay $30 a month cause it really isn’t worth all the hassle.
Seeing the neighbors has been an interesting experience. On the move in, everyone just kinda glanced at us struggling to carry things up. One girl queried which apartment I was setting up in. Everyone’s fairly nice and I think a little surprised that a black person moved into the building when that’s generally not the trend on the block as a whole. When the super showed me the place, he was almost excited by that. It’s pretty much an all black building minus Ant and the rumored (until today) white girls across the hall. Everyone else seems like families who’ve lived there for years and I’m sure they’re paying better rent than we do.
What’s being irritating me most (besides the creepy guy diagonally across who looks at me up and down like a steak on a plate and was strangely hovering in our open doorway waiting for someone to come out on the move in day) is this barking shit of a dog who lives across the hall. Every time I hit the landing, it starts barking its head off and generally getting on my nerves. To say the least, I’m not really fond of dogs. I tend to run into the psychos of the family and have a scar on my face to prove it. I wrote the fucker off as a yappy little thing with a Napolean complex and that was that until today.
I was running late and coming down the stairs to the 3rd floor when I saw a girl who could only be the white girl across the hall, known from today forward as That Stupid Neighbor Bitch, with her dog. Which is a fucking Rottweiler. That was looking at me like “ooh…breakfast!”. And walking around with no leash.
I froze and tried to crack jokes. “Oh…let me guess. You live in 16, right?”
She nodded and played with her little monster who was watching my ass like a hawk.
“And that must be your dog. He’s always barking at me.”
“Oh…haha…yeah, this is her. She barks at everybody.” (Hmm…wonder why.) “Don’t be scared, she’s a sweetie.” (Lifted from the pages of So Your Dog Is A Psycho…Owner’s Manual)
I laughed hollowly and walked through the landing. As I was walking down the next flight of stairs, I look back to see that fucking dog following me and looking at me evily from the top of the stairs. Gulp. “Uh…can you get your dog please?” I said with more than a touch of hysteria in my voice.
“Sorry,” she replied in a tone you’d say “bummer” or “fuck off.” Stupid bitch.
It was only fitting to me that she was a stupid hipster with a skunk streak in her hair and wearing fucking legwarmers, for Christ’s sake. Hipsters are the only thing I hate more than dogs after all. Regardless, I think I held my breath until I was safely outside. I had a flash of her letting the dog rip me to shreds and then saying “oh, bad girl, no doggie treats” over my mangled body. If it kills me, I’m gonna haunt her ass. I’m serious.

Comments are closed.