Kitty Power

January 14, 2011
by Candicissima
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This Is Happening

I’ve been enjoying the hell out of myself this semester break. I didn’t realize how worn out I was until I decided the most exciting thing I could do (repeatedly) was park in bed and watch Netflix Streaming. I had finals induced vampire hours for most of the past month, but I’m finally getting back to normal daytime rising…just in time to have most of my classes at night!

School just asserted itself back into my life in a big way with two huge emails over the past few days: a dispatch from my thesis advisor with the class schedule and then the instructions on how to apply for graduation. Yikes! Two years of my life are coming to a close rapidly. Graduation day is May 18th, just over 4 months from now. If I wasn’t excited about how much I’m going to kick ass this semester, I’d be completely terrified that the end is so near. 
In all the midst of this, I’m turning 30 in March. I feel pretty hopeful about that. I’m sure it’ll knock me for a loop the first time I realize I’m not a 20-something anymore, but luckily with my good genes, no one believes me when I say how old I am anyway. I’m kicking around the idea of going to Morocco or South America for a birthday trip. By then, I will want to escape NYC cold and my thesis pretty bad, so the farther I can go without a 24-hour plane ride, the better. 

December 31, 2010
by Candicissima
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And To All A Good Night

2010 was a little ridiculous like every year and 2011 has the chance to be even crazier and more awesome for me. I still haven’t quite decided how to ring in the new year (less than 7 hours before the clock turns), but I’m surprisingly calm and chipper for me today, so it doesn’t really matter.

Some tunes I’m riding into another year on:

December 24, 2010
by Candicissima
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Release Me

I swear, modern technology can be a big pain in the ass sometimes. I haven’t been able to post in a week and change because MT doesn’t acknowledge that you want to type text in boxes if the www is missing from your login link. Seriously? Broken ass system.
Besides that, I’m happily enjoying the beginning of my 5 weeks of vacation. Making plans to sun myself in the Dominican Republic before spring semester and thesis craziness kicks into gear. On the (short) list of things I want to accomplish in the next month: 1) finally finish the apartment decoration project 2) nail down the thesis idea 3) get a new kitty. But I just fell down the Netflix streaming rabbit hole, so I might just watch movies and chill. That’s fine too.

December 1, 2010
by Candicissima
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Crawl Back to the Cave

Skeletons and The Girl-Faced Boys – We Won’t Be Proud, No No No

The countdown to the end of the semester has officially started finally. Another week and a half of class and then finals time.

November went out on a not so bad note. I ended up withdrawing from my program to London, which I think is for the best. I still haven’t quite managed to replace my laptop yet, so the last thing I needed to worry about was airfare and a shit exchange rate. Though New Year’s in Europe would’ve been pretty awesome. I think I can be satisfied by spending two (mostly) glorious months there this summer and get over it.

Also got a bit of good news on the thief front. Finally they’ve got enough evidence to nail the guy. Adding insult to injury, I actually saw him last week, trying to sell a probably stolen Mac Book for $200 in front of my fave deli in Williamsburg. With zero shame. I’d be happy to see that dude under a jail, even though I’ve pretty much given up hope of seeing my stuff again.

This semester has been a hard slog, even without the recent bit of bad luck. I’ve got a full schedule of 4 classes plus the thesis prep seminar. I’m out there working hard. It’s almost like being back at work…except no money. It’s been a fun life interlude to be creative and have a shit ton of fun learning whatever I want for the past year and a half though. Going back to the real world is probably going to be a real bummer. Especially when Sallie Mae comes calling for my pennies.

November 23, 2010
by Candicissima
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Nostalgia Trip

I’ve had the disadvantage of two computer mishaps this year: the desktop had a meltdown in March while I was in San Francisco and last week’s laptop theft. You would’ve thought that I’d learned to back up my shit every other day — and you’d be right and wrong. My backup was in my bag with my laptop (D’oh!) 

The spirit of making lemon garnishes for my drinks with the sour ass lemons life is serving up, I’ve been going on a music collection rebuilding kick since the weekend. I had external HD backups for my library pre-2007 (when I bought this now fixed desktop) and my laptop’s reign of September 2009-now. Using my last.fm profile (currently the only site I love tracking the shit I do), I was able to check out what was floating my boat between 1.5-3 years ago which has been entertaining as hell. 
For example, remembering the awesomeness of Rafter, Circlesquare, Skeletons, Doves, In Rainbows, The Cosmic Game, and Showtime which I almost forgot about totally since last year. Some video links to my rediscovered faves:

November 20, 2010
by Candicissima
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Time Is A Mystery

Life got insane rather quickly for me and I’ve just been trying to power through to the end of the semester. I’m planning to go back to Europe on another school program + travel in January (though life might have other plans currently). Next semester is going to be a little crazy with the thesis and school winding down. 

And because there’s always a monkey wrench thrown into life: on Wednesday, I got my coat and school bag stolen with laptop, glasses, house keys, and most importantly for me, all my notebooks. One of those books I’ve had for 3 years and had notes from every class, every random idea, and a lot of the just general thoughts I’ve had about this crazy whirlwind school program and life. The loss of that is pretty irreplaceable and I’m mega beat about it. The saga since the robbery has insane with all sorts of random leads on the thief and I’m trying to stay positive that he can get caught and hopefully I can get my stuff back.
I’ve been trying not to dwell on that and turned to music. A few weeks ago, I ordered the new Portable 12″ record, This Life of Illusion and have been loving the tracks like crazy. A side story: I actually saw him on the street in Lisbon. Recognized him at 50 paces in the craziness of a night out in Bairro Alto, but let shyness get in the way of telling him how much I love his music. The dude is a genius. 
The song I posted above is called Life Magically Is and the spoken lyrics are from a poem called To An English Friend in Africa by Ben Okri that I had to look up. Nice and inspirational:
Be grateful for freedom
To see other dreams.
Bless your loneliness as much as you drank
Of your former companionships.
All that you are experiencing now
Will become moods of future joys
So bless it all.
Do not think your ways superior
To another’s
Do not venture to judge
But see things with fresh and open eyes
Do not condemn
But praise what you can
And when you can’t be silent.
Time is now a gift for you
A gift of freedom
To think and remember and understand
The ever perplexing past
And to re-create yourself anew
In order to transform time.
Live while you are alive.
Learn the ways of silence and wisdom
Learn to act, learn a new speech
Learn to be what you are in the seed of your spirit
Learn to free yourself from all things that have moulded you
And which limit your secret and undiscovered road.
Remember that all things which happen
To you are raw materials
Endlessly fertile
Endlessly yielding of thoughts that could change
Your life and go on doing for ever.
Never forget to pray and be thankful
For all the things good or bad on the rich road;
For everything is changeable
So long as you live while you are alive.
Fear not, but be full of light and love;
Fear not but be alert and receptive;
Fear not but act decisively when you should;
Fear not, but know when to stop;
Fear not for you are loved by me;
Fear not, for death is not the real terror,
But life -magically – is.
Be joyful in your silence
Be strong in your patience
Do not try to wrestle with the universe
But be sometimes like water or air
Sometimes like fire
Live slowly, think slowly, for time is a mystery.
Never forget that love
Requires that you be
The greatest person you are capable of being,
Self-generating and strong and gentle-
Your own hero and star.
Love demands the best in us
To always and in time overcome the worst
And lowest in our souls.
Love the world wisely.
It is love alone that is the greatest weapon
And the deepest and hardest secret.
So fear not, my friend.
The darkness is gentler than you think.
Be grateful for the manifold
Dreams of creation
And the many ways of unnumbered peoples.
Be grateful for life as you live it.
And may a wonderful light
Always guide you on the unfolding road.

October 16, 2010
by Candicissima
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Everything You Dream Of Is Right In Front Of You

 

 I’m trying to challenge myself this month to do more writing. Whether here, my paper journal, my school blog space — just to do it. Life is swirling around me a bit fast with school gearing up to kick my ass and I’ve started to think about how good it used to be to write for fun sometimes. Especially since I keep running into people who mention this blog to me. It was (and still is) one of my favorite pasttimes and is overdue a revival. 
I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to my oversharing heights of the days long gone (especially since I became keenly aware of the Wayback Machine and how the internet lasts forever, fuck!), but music and my random late nights should be fair game. I’m looking forward to the challenge.

September 6, 2010
by Candicissima
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Pick Me Up and Turn Me Round

I’m finally home and it feels great. The last month and change was really tough, mainly because it got a little exhausting to be in an unnatural situation for so long. Being an independent person cooped up in an uncomfortable dorm where I couldn’t cook or shower when I wanted got tiring fast. Loved Paris though. I made friends and explored mainly on my own and it was a good experience. I have some definite opinions on French men (mostly negative), but I could almost seeing myself living there.
The weeks of travel in the homestretch were also fun. Visiting Lisbon and spending time with Alex was great. It was the most time I spent in one place after Paris and it was a nice break from lugging a 20kg suitcase behind me throughout Europe. Then the bittersweet final Paris lap and 14 hours in London before my return to Brooklyn.
New York feels exactly like I left it, which is comforting. I’ve loved seeing my friends and as I forecasted, did stuff my face like it was going out of style on my return. School starts back up on Wednesday and then it’s the express train of a second year all the way to May and finishing up my thesis. No rest for the weary ever.

August 8, 2010
by Candicissima
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A Drop In The Ocean

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I’ve hit the halfway mark of this trip.
Europe’s been exhilarating, exciting, and occasionally frustrating. I’ve grown to really love Paris, was awed by Rome, surprised by Naples and Lausanne, and a little disappointed in London. I’ve got another week in my program and then 2 weeks of travel to Nice and the Cote D’Azur, Barcelona, and Lisbon before doing 5 final days back here and a hop over to London to go home. It’s exhausting to think about and definitely to be living, but I’m having a fantastic time just seeing everything.
I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about all sorts of shit. I laugh at myself that I almost let a moment of self-doubt keep me home. I’m seeing things here that I’ve only dreamed about and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I’ve been thinking about home a ton though. I’ve missed my apartment, my fam and friends, and how easy it is for me to get around/things in NYC. The constant dealing with stuff flying at you left and right at home was good training for this trip, especially when I’m dealing with language barriers. I’m going to enjoy that first moment of plopping down on my own bed, surrounded my own things again. And then go on a crazy eating binge of my favorite foods. I’ll gain back every pound lost in no time!