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I Am The Black Gold of the Sun

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School is over and I have returned to some semblance of an adult life. Back to working at a mega agency, subletting my friend's place in Bushwick until the end of September, most of my old apartments' stuff in a storage unit. I graduated burned out on my passion project thesis and generally unsure of what to do next. 

In my heart of hearts, I'd love to move to Paris and re-mmerse myself in the great expat community I met during my past two visits. The visa situation is super tough though and I find more reasons to be wary about going there every week. What I really want in my life is an adult adventure not in NYC. I've given this place 30 years and am dying to experience something else. The where is the big question mark at this point.

I've also been attempting to give my cynicism a rest. With the full knowledge, I'll never be completely happy go lucky either. But it's way less energy needed to allow myself to find the fun in a bad situation. Like my foray into speed dating the other week. That was super yikes, but ultimately so comedic.This summer's been great so far for meandering and doing as much (or little) as I want to do. Nothing's going to touch last year's jam-packed travelpalooza, but that's okay. 

Excelsior

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This is rare time where I can say without hesitation that life is pretty damned good. Sure, I'm entering the wild eyed pressured phase of my thesis and am still struggling to keep my brain totally focused. And most things aren't totally perfect. But, I'm turning 30 on Wednesday and going to Europe on Thursday and feel happy and settled and inspired and healthy and hopeful. The lack of complaints on so many fronts blows the things I could complain about out of the water. It's a really nice feeling. Over the years, I've always thought about what kind of tattoo I would get if I could swallow my fear of needles long enough to get inked. I had a phase where the phoenix rising from the ashes was it, then a black cat in honor of my neurotic girl. But the one thing that has stuck is just a simple writing of the word Excelsior. It means ever upward (actually, higher) in Latin (which I took for 5 years a million years ago) and is the New York state motto. It seems like it would be a nice tribute to the strange turns this life has taken over the years and that it has been getting better going on. Maybe I need to just pop a Xanax and make it happen. My trip next week is a 12 day combined do over of Paris and first journey to Berlin. I'm curious to see what Paris will be like not agonizing over every Euro spent and able to do whatever I want. I'm looking forward to seeing a lot of the people I hung with over the summer and explore some new places too. The dream to move there is still chugging along, so scouting out some prospects is also on the agenda. It's harder for me to pick up and go haphazardly because working at a bar or tourist spot would probably barely be enough for me to pay my bills there and also take care of my student loan bills that are about to be due very soon. I want to figure out a way to work it out though. Berlin is a mecca of people I know, so I'm definitely interested in exploring that too. Two Brooklyn friends moved there in the past year, so I want to chill with them and see what the place is all about. My one guaranteed destination is Berghain and besides that, just plan to wander and soak it all about. PrincessNella and I are meeting up and exploring it together, so that should be hijinks galore. Happy early birthday to me and hopefully many more.

This Is Happening

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I've been enjoying the hell out of myself this semester break. I didn't realize how worn out I was until I decided the most exciting thing I could do (repeatedly) was park in bed and watch Netflix Streaming. I had finals induced vampire hours for most of the past month, but I'm finally getting back to normal daytime rising...just in time to have most of my classes at night!

School just asserted itself back into my life in a big way with two huge emails over the past few days: a dispatch from my thesis advisor with the class schedule and then the instructions on how to apply for graduation. Yikes! Two years of my life are coming to a close rapidly. Graduation day is May 18th, just over 4 months from now. If I wasn't excited about how much I'm going to kick ass this semester, I'd be completely terrified that the end is so near. 

In all the midst of this, I'm turning 30 in March. I feel pretty hopeful about that. I'm sure it'll knock me for a loop the first time I realize I'm not a 20-something anymore, but luckily with my good genes, no one believes me when I say how old I am anyway. I'm kicking around the idea of going to Morocco or South America for a birthday trip. By then, I will want to escape NYC cold and my thesis pretty bad, so the farther I can go without a 24-hour plane ride, the better. 

Release Me

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I swear, modern technology can be a big pain in the ass sometimes. I haven't been able to post in a week and change because MT doesn't acknowledge that you want to type text in boxes if the www is missing from your login link. Seriously? Broken ass system.

Besides that, I'm happily enjoying the beginning of my 5 weeks of vacation. Making plans to sun myself in the Dominican Republic before spring semester and thesis craziness kicks into gear. On the (short) list of things I want to accomplish in the next month: 1) finally finish the apartment decoration project 2) nail down the thesis idea 3) get a new kitty. But I just fell down the Netflix streaming rabbit hole, so I might just watch movies and chill. That's fine too.

Crawl Back to the Cave

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Skeletons and The Girl-Faced Boys - We Won't Be Proud, No No No

The countdown to the end of the semester has officially started finally. Another week and a half of class and then finals time. 

November went out on a not so bad note. I ended up withdrawing from my program to London, which I think is for the best. I still haven't quite managed to replace my laptop yet, so the last thing I needed to worry about was airfare and a shit exchange rate. Though New Year's in Europe would've been pretty awesome. I think I can be satisfied by spending two (mostly) glorious months there this summer and get over it.

Also got a bit of good news on the thief front. Finally they've got enough evidence to nail the guy. Adding insult to injury, I actually saw him last week, trying to sell a probably stolen Mac Book for $200 in front of my fave deli in Williamsburg. With zero shame. I'd be happy to see that dude under a jail, even though I've pretty much given up hope of seeing my stuff again. 

This semester has been a hard slog, even without the recent bit of bad luck. I've got a full schedule of 4 classes plus the thesis prep seminar. I'm out there working hard. It's almost like being back at work...except no money. It's been a fun life interlude to be creative and have a shit ton of fun learning whatever I want for the past year and a half though. Going back to the real world is probably going to be a real bummer. Especially when Sallie Mae comes calling for my pennies. 

Nostalgia Trip

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I've had the disadvantage of two computer mishaps this year: the desktop had a meltdown in March while I was in San Francisco and last week's laptop theft. You would've thought that I'd learned to back up my shit every other day -- and you'd be right and wrong. My backup was in my bag with my laptop (D'oh!) 

The spirit of making lemon garnishes for my drinks with the sour ass lemons life is serving up, I've been going on a music collection rebuilding kick since the weekend. I had external HD backups for my library pre-2007 (when I bought this now fixed desktop) and my laptop's reign of September 2009-now. Using my last.fm profile (currently the only site I love tracking the shit I do), I was able to check out what was floating my boat between 1.5-3 years ago which has been entertaining as hell. 

For example, remembering the awesomeness of Rafter, Circlesquare, Skeletons, Doves, In Rainbows, The Cosmic Game, and Showtime which I almost forgot about totally since last year. Some video links to my rediscovered faves:















Pick Me Up and Turn Me Round

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I'm finally home and it feels great. The last month and change was really tough, mainly because it got a little exhausting to be in an unnatural situation for so long. Being an independent person cooped up in an uncomfortable dorm where I couldn't cook or shower when I wanted got tiring fast. Loved Paris though. I made friends and explored mainly on my own and it was a good experience. I have some definite opinions on French men (mostly negative), but I could almost seeing myself living there.

The weeks of travel in the homestretch were also fun. Visiting Lisbon and spending time with Alex was great. It was the most time I spent in one place after Paris and it was a nice break from lugging a 20kg suitcase behind me throughout Europe. Then the bittersweet final Paris lap and 14 hours in London before my return to Brooklyn.

New York feels exactly like I left it, which is comforting. I've loved seeing my friends and as I forecasted, did stuff my face like it was going out of style on my return. School starts back up on Wednesday and then it's the express train of a second year all the way to May and finishing up my thesis. No rest for the weary ever.

A Drop In The Ocean

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DSCN0663.JPG

I've hit the halfway mark of this trip. Europe's been exhilarating, exciting, and occasionally frustrating. I've grown to really love Paris, was awed by Rome, surprised by Naples and Lausanne, and a little disappointed in London. I've got another week in my program and then 2 weeks of travel to Nice and the Cote D'Azur, Barcelona, and Lisbon before doing 5 final days back here and a hop over to London to go home. It's exhausting to think about and definitely to be living, but I'm having a fantastic time just seeing everything. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about all sorts of shit. I laugh at myself that I almost let a moment of self-doubt keep me home. I'm seeing things here that I've only dreamed about and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I've been thinking about home a ton though. I've missed my apartment, my fam and friends, and how easy it is for me to get around/things in NYC. The constant dealing with stuff flying at you left and right at home was good training for this trip, especially when I'm dealing with language barriers. I'm going to enjoy that first moment of plopping down on my own bed, surrounded my own things again. And then go on a crazy eating binge of my favorite foods. I'll gain back every pound lost in no time!

I Wish You A Peaceful Journey

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Give Way
I left in a mad dash on Thursday evening. The night before I decided to get drunk and wander around instead of finishing my packing up, so I got get up early that morning and finish everything up in a hungover daze. I dashed to Queens to have a goodbye lunch with my mom and then I was zipping the bag for the last time, straightening up, and saying goodbye to my place for two months, Getting to the airport was hell and I gave up on public transportation 2/3rds of the way through and took a cab the last bit to the airport. I arrived in a panic to find out I was still an hour away from final call and finally took a breath.

I ended up on the first leg of my journey to London crammed next to this awful hipster couple. If they weren't making out, they were asking to be let out so they could go to the bathroom. I think the girl wondered why I wasn't interested in small talk, as if she didn't realize she was a pox on humanity. Disembarked in Reykjavik and made my way through security screening because I guess they don't trust foreign scans there. A clusterfuck of a boarding pass line followed by a boarding on the tarmac. That flight was quick and mostly pleasant, but I was definitely beginning to feel a little tired and hot and harried. 

Landed in London cracked out and had to face an hour and a half immigration line. The officer reminded me of my dad a bit and was very British and serious asking me why I would detour in London if I was going in Paris in 2 days. Because it was cheaper? A shuttle bus ride to a random train stop and I got the first of many surprised looks when I opened my mouth and my weird little American accent came out as I bought my Oyster card. Finally the hotel and the smallest room I've ever been in. And my plug adapter didn't work. My hearty welcome to Europe.

Met up with an old friend of a friend and watched the World Cup match (poor Black Stars) and went to an apartment straight out of a movie. Experienced missing the last tube and a hunt (in the rain) for the night bus. Finally a good night's sleep. 

Woke up well rested for the first time in a while. Wandered into Tesco and fell in love with the place when I saw premixed gin and tonics/whiskey and cokes for 3 for 4£. And people drink on the street there without a care. God bless the UK! Spent the day at the Wireless Festival, listening to music and taking pics. Amused when one chick excitedly asked me "OMG are you from Brooklyn? Have you ever been to the Bronx?" Not quite sure what the deal was with the crowd throwing bottles as they got rowdy. I did understand why they were plastic instead of glass though when one hit me in the nose. Eased my way out of the front -- and then the place altogether -- as things got crazy during the headlining set. Nice walk back to the hotel and then capping that off with a 1£ sandwich and cheap bottle of cider. Fun times.

Up early the next day to take advantage of the free breakfast and wish I would've skipped. What's so continental about a pastry, cheese, and some meat? And then to the airport in an infinitely easier trip. Flight delayed, so got to Paris a little late. Too harried to catch the welcome dinner, so went for a leisurely walk, got a cheap sandwich, and then off for a nap. Today dawned with a bike tour and getting to know my other 5 program mates (some of which I'd rather not) and will end with a nice slumber before tomorrow's first day of class.

Things are good.


The Countdown's On

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In less than 9 days, I'll be touching down in Europe for the first time. First stop is a brief layover in Iceland and then on to London for 2 whirlwind days before going on to my new home for the next 6 weeks, Paris.

Nervous doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I don't think I still believe it's quite happening. Despite the flight reservations and subletting and goodbye party to the contrary. In a typical fashion, I'm having a bout of melancholy before I even get anywhere, but I'm excited for this long overdue trip. It feels important for me to do it (mostly) alone and in a very different stage in my life than it would've been as an undergrad. I definitely haven't been practicing my French enough, but I think I've got plenty of energy for this. Wish me luck.

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