In my slight hiatus, I've: worked and worked and worked (working until almost 1am on a Friday night is strangely not the bomb. Who knew?) and listened to music (James T Cotton and She Wants Revenge, ho!) and played silly games with the boy and became overtired and was a bit of a homebody for a while there and/or stayed in the confines of the B69 axis (going to Manhattan is like a novelty to me now. It's kinda amusing) and experimented with the camera on my new cell (Jay-V sees an invitation for seduction and I see the colossal grocery filled sized bags under my weary little eyes. Not to mention the chained to my desk diet working for me.).
To that end, I declared Saturday night would be the end all and be all to celebrate the homestretch of my insane period. My treat: banana bread, the special kind, sold only at the party I look forward to obsessively every month. I had imagined that the vibe would be on the chill side with all the little college brats disappearing for the summer. So just picture my face when I strolled up and found the line halfway down the block.
Still, I waited patiently and fought my way through the colossal amounts of people inside to get to the magic table. "Banana bread?" I said hopefully and the woman smiled at me to pull out the special baggie of heaven. I scurried off with my piece like a kid ending a candy store pillage and scarfed it in mere seconds. Magic? Magic now? Not quite. I think I feel something. Do I feel something? I dunno. I'm being neurotic and overthinking. I'm so in my head that I can't tell if it's working or not. Gah. Fuck this. I need this to work. I need another piece. Ever been utterly useless brainwise? That was me circa 2:30am. It rules.
Just my luck, I ran into a random from HS. I can say this is a kid I never really thought about at all, now or then. He was our grade stoner, nice enough in the less than 10 encounters I had with him in 6 years there. Only notable because I remember him being overly concerned with me leaving at the reunion a couple of years back. And here he was gushing about high school being the best years of his life and who he still hangs out with and vaguely reminiscing with me while moving steadily closer. I had a strange sense of worlds colliding interacting with the sheer potency working its way through me and mumbled a vague something before bolting further into party. Where I came face to face with the boy.
"I'm so happy to see you," I murmured, despite also remembering that we were in the middle of a days long freeze and still looking over my shoulder for HS weirdo. But, he smiled and came out with a string of apologies and I smiled too. Oh, young...distractions. And the smiles are short-lived against the typical push and pull. We wander our seperate ways.
I am conscious of music and spectacles and people through a distant fog. I'm feeding off the energy of the environment and just happy. I meander my way around and around and as things work, I run into the HS guy again. He talks to me near the scupture maze and I'm slightly surprised to find myself mindlessly chatting back. I feel a tap and see the boy's friend giving me a quizzical face with a side glance at the HS guy. I greet him warmly, while feeling annoyed and amused. The old cock block. He disappeared soon after and I bolted again after a few minutes when the bizarre vibes became too much again.
And I walked around and ran into the boy again. We danced and chatted and left for White Castle and the B48. Two wishy-washy people equals the constant push-pull. But, I know how to fix that. He later shakes his head at me and smiles despite himself. "You just do whatever you want to, don't you?" "Yes," I say with a smile. He knows he lives for it.
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