The laughing hysterically at 3am edition.
Oh man, this post is mostly dirty. Make sure the boss isn't looking over your shoulder!
This thread [via M-Matos] really had me on the floor. The title alone "what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room is good," but the centerpiece is:
okay so I figured "this won't be bad, maybe some awkwardness and depending on how it is I'll either keep going to the kitchen or run back to my room"I was really gasping for air I was laughing so hard. You'd think something like that would make me retroactively sympathetic to Grandmastah H, but he lost my goodwill when he attempted to solicit me for a gang bang at MY OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY and was surprised when I turned him down and then that I didn't hook him up with a friend (hmm...wonder why?). Especially since he totally got the wrong idea (because he is a degenerate) in that long ago episode, yet is lording it over my head like a little bitch. I'm in the market for new friends, thanks. Anyhoo, that thread was hella live.
so of course I walk out there and she's got her ass in the air while this scrawny indie fop WEARING A TRUCKER HAT AND NOTHING ELSE is attempting to INSERT HIS COCK IN HER ASS.
ON MY COUCH
I go out and this sight actually caused me to go "oh ugh god!" My roommate tumbled out of her awkward position onto the floor landing on her shoulder and Trucker Hat fell to his side with a grunt. my roommate shrieked "what are you doing home?!" and scampered into her room, almost on all fours, past me. she slammed the door behind her. Trucker Hat gathered his pants and RAN INTO THE KITCHEN
of course i followed him and he was sputtering "sorry dude sorry dude" and I just said "let me get my sandwich and you go clean up MY couch!" he again said "sorry sorry sorry" and ran out of the kitchen and to the bedroom, he pounded on the door and asked to be let in, and my roommate let him in.
MY LIVING ROOM SMELLS LIKE NOTHING I'VE SMELLED BEFORE
Also funny as shit are the Terry Tate videos. I was discussing over IM with P. Friendster (who really needs an alias like everyone else) how he thinks it'd be cool to work with the office linebacker, but I'd have to pass. The man could probably crush me with a pinky. I ain't no fool.
In the funny weird category was the oldest worker quits at 104 story. Please if I live to be 104, I sure as hell wouldn't still be working -- even if it is for kicks. I think after a certain point it's respectable to do jack all day and not feel guilty. At 104, you'd find me on some beach relaxing, telling stories and watching the whippersnappers run around.