To Man On The Bus Sitting Behind Me: There's gotta be a better time and place for your "where are we in our relationship" conversation than on a crowded bus before 8am with your bootleg loud ass handset and lack of an indoor voice. I'll let you off with a warning this time.
To The Man Outside The Deli: Sweetie, it doesn't matter that what you said was nice. When you deliver a compliment while looking at me like a spare rib on the plate, you're gonna get the nasty look. What? Uh huh, and your mom. You have been dismissed.
To Myself Re:Wardrobe Decisions: We need to face the facts. Light colored pants make us look like we should have "Wide Load" pinned to the back of my shirt. Remember this and try to do better performance wise in the future. We will be monitoring the progress.
To Myself Re:Lunch Choices: Do try to be clear and collected when we get up to the counter. Or else we shall end up with totally non-tasty selections like sesame chicken and sour sauce on white rice. Yuck. We are on review for this point forward.
I am so with you about the man outside the deli. I like to yell at them "Does that EVER work for you?!?!" as I pass them. Sometimes I get super Brooklyn and suck my teeth and roll my eyes.
I thought a "wide load" was a good thing...?
Those pants look good on you. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
And I think as well that "wide load" is a good thing!
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the back, but I really looked like I was a football field wide. Totally unflattering.