I've been preoccupied with reassessing and redefining. Last week was emotionally rough as it seemed everything kept getting so twisted around that I lost my own perspective.
The theme of that week was disappointment. I actually expected to be rewarded for being a cheerleader, but was told I should be happy for it if I got offered the scraps. And after a year and a half of navigating the twists and turns, Farmer and I got to the end of the road and I've decided to walk on alone. Is it strange that the conclusion of both of those episodes has made me kind of relieved? I think I've been working hard at changing myself for the better here yet those things were definite throwbacks to when I did bullshit for the sake of the angst and time-wasting and "adventure." I'm been feeling beyond that and finally my actions are catching up to the words.
The highlights were looking forward to next month. A year older plus WMC, ho! It's cool to be on the fringes as people you know are making moves. Friend D came out of left field with wanting me to do PR for his record, even though: a) I'm no publicist b) as if I'm not totally clueless on where to start. (Still, it's not worth tripping over because they say such strange things when they want your attention.) And there's The DJ in my sights anew because I've knocked some sense into myself. In what universe is being shy a crime, considering all that came before?
And so it goes. My world still turns with some dead weight dropped off. I might be on blog vacation for a min though.
Posted by Candicissima at February 9, 2005 12:34 AM