I showed up bright and early to a familiar building, new floor. For two days, I'm contracted to run around, look sharp, answer phones, and suck up like my life depends on it (well, it does) to get stellar marks and if Fate would perhaps smile upon a poor hopeful soul, hired as an editorial assistant at this magazine. But, even if I don't, I've already got an awesome story.
Scene: Young Candicissima at her subbing station, eating her healthy lunch of grilled chicken and pasta from the Cafeteria (where they throw down for real. Money can buy you some good ass food). Suddenly, the phone rings and she contemplates whether or not to interrupt her lunch break to answer. Duty pulls her and she does.
Candicissima: Hello, blah blah's desk.
The Woman: Hello, this is Blahbitty Blah, one of the first supermodels and author of Such and Such: My Memoir of Wild Excess and Such yadda yadda yadda
Candicissima's brain: Overload. Brain exploding in 3...2....1.
Candicissima: *quietly when she's in a lull in the full press talk* Oh yes, I know you. And I've enjoyed you on (that model show)
The Woman: Oh that...I wish I would've never signed up for that. But, thanks! Yadda yadda crazy speak. I've got a new book coming out in April. I want one of those sexy woman profiles in the magazine. My butt hasn't hit the ground yet! I hope you can find some space for me.
Candicissima's Brain: Oh, I'm sorry. You seem to have mistaken me for a real editor. Oh you, what an easy mistake to make!
Candicissima: *scribbling notes furiously* Uh-huh.
The Woman: Yadda yadda. Call the publisher contact to set that up. Gotta make the money, I am a single mother and all. Yadda yadda more crazy talk. What's your name again? I'll send you a copy of the book.
Candicissima's Brain: Like addressed to me and stuff? Dude...
Candicissima: Candice Nassapeemapedalon*
The Woman: Will do! I love your voice! I love your name! Take my number down *stream of numbers too fast to process*
Candicissima's Brain: I'm exploding again! Aurgh!
Candicissima: Umm...could you repeat that number for me? *She does in a sensible manner* Thanks. I'll pass the message along.
The Woman: Thank you. Have a great day!
Candicissima: Thanks! You too!
Candicissima counts to 5 before furiously IMing everyone.
And then later a guy called from the White House and some guy wanted to talk to the editor about his interview with the rock musician Jay is currently loving to hate. Does anyone have any spells that could come in handy? I neeeed this job. Can I also get a "squee!!!" from the peanut gallery because she's every bit as crazy and fierce as she is on TV? Best. Day.Ever! Also, I'm slightly buoyed by the fact that my cell phone is ringing off the hook on the day I'm not going to pick it up.
* Of course that isn't really my last name. It's an old HS private joke. Did you really think I would say? Do I strike you as insane or something?
Posted by Candicissima at February 13, 2004 02:56 PMyay!! is it too early to start packing your stuff up? getting ready for a departure from the boat of unemployment are we???
Posted by: jay at February 13, 2004 04:59 PMHey, my new guy didn't call me yet!!! Plus, he said he is leaving for an underterminable amount of time on Sunday. That sucks. I bet he forgot me already. I need a codename for him. Oh, call him Brenda.
OK. Love ya. I really would love to have dinner on Sunday.
Posted by: claudia at February 13, 2004 07:45 PMA girl can surely dream, Jay. Even if I just end up in the same sort of deal at the last place, I'll be cool with that. But, you know I'll swim for shore in a NY minute if I get the chance before you can say "girl overboard!"
Posted by: Candicissima at February 13, 2004 09:20 PM