I've been taking the J train lately. It just dawned on my recently that it makes more sense to take that diagonal swatch across Brooklyn and Queens than to take the roundabout travels through most of Queens and Manhattan of the E and F. Especially since it takes me right to downtown where I want to be. The homestretch of crossing the Williamsburg has to be one of the best views in the city. You've got most of the Manhattan famous skyline in front of you plus views into the lofts and buildings along side the tracks in Brooklyn, the sky-high projects in the LES, traffic crossing the bridge. That is New York. All of these people crammed into a small area, lights in their homes illuminating their lives to the outside world. It never fails as all of this is spilling out before me to have "The World Is Yours" reverberating in my brain. The world is mine. I'm gonna conquer that shit.
Meanwhile, I'm heavily in shadow mode right now, plotting and planning. Number one thing weighing on my mind is not having two cents to rub together to pay what needs to be paid. I'm tired of endlessly sowing. I'm ready for the harvest like yesterday. I feel kinda stuck between doing what I love, taking a chance to really apply myself as an "artist" and develop and suffer and do what I need to do to make that life successful and wanting security and being comfortable and not wanting even if something is stifled in me. Right now, I choose the sensible path. It's not too late to change my mind later.
I'm so preoccupied with being pissed that I lost one of my favorite earrings. Don't you hate it when you realize something was your lucky charm when you lose it and things go semi-to shit?
Posted by Candicissima at February 8, 2004 03:39 PM