Scene: Candicissima marching down Greene Street on the way to the train station. Pissed off. Bitch face in place. About to pass a storefront with some guys are working on the awning. Stupid Fool, a worker, stands in the middle of the sidewalk.
Stupid Fool: Hey, girl, you should smile so somebody'll say something nice to you!
Candicissima: Oh yeah? Fuck you. Oh, look at that...now I'm smiling.
For a change, I actually didn't say that. Instead, I rolled my eyes and continued the soldier march. Some other fool around the corner had some commentary to make also. Fuck you, you fucking fucks with your unsolicited bullshit. Like I give a fuck what you think or have to fucking say when I obviously don't want to fucking be bothered. Fuckers.
I'm fucking tired and disgruntled and feeling like a puppy that keeps getting fucking kicked. (And no, the gratuitous use of fuck isn't improving my fucking mood, but fuck you. You can skip this one.) I'm broke and sad and at a loss and sick of this city being so claustrophobically small. Shit just isn't going right. I've got no focus. I don't know what I'm doing and most importantly, don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just don't know what to do. I just don't fucking know. I need some good news.
I'm going to go crawl in bed and cry now. Just because that's better than nothing. And hopefully later I can regroup and bounce back. It might be a few days though.
Posted by Candicissima at November 18, 2003 01:01 PMHey babe, what happened that day?
I feel like shit too nowadays... I am definately not doing what I should be doing and I'm not even that sure what I should be doing either...
That's been my problem for three years now.
Anyways, you have a great education, you're smart, a people person...Don't worry, whatever you focus on doing I am sure you'll find yourself a success...even if in the beginning you think you are going nowhere.
Intelligence and personality counts for a lot. And I know you have more than just simple book knowledge...
By the way, read Michael Moore's "Stupid White Men"...It's a great book. He tells you the truth about things and the facts makes me so angry!!! Americans definately need to change! I want him to be President.
I'm with you on the fuckers who yell shit. Though I'm a little shyer when people come up to me at events, people who yell at me on the street will get told off (while I walk away really fast, in case they have a gun).
Posted by: TLL at November 24, 2003 01:42 PM