Scene: Family gathering. My aunt's new fiancee's birthday party. Long Island. Bored to tears with PrincessNella, a cousin, and his friend in the back of the room with booze to keep ourselves occupied. I'm called over by other cousins, sisters 1 and 2, a little older yet cool.
Moi: Hey, what's up?
1: Where's your boyfriend?
Moi: Huh?
1: Is he here?
Moi: (thinking that perhaps she was late to the end of Mr. Sailor even though that was all last year andeverything) I don't have one.
1: Oh okay. Are you looking? There's some guys over there (gesturing towards the table of teenage bummy-looking non-prospects)
Moi: Uh...I think they're kinda young.
1: You're right.
2. So, you didn't get a perm, huh?
1: What kind of guys do you like?
2: You ever think of twists? That would look nice.
Moi: That's how it was earlier but I tried to do the crinkly thing and it didn't work. Uh...I dunno I don't have a type.
1: Leave her alone, she's been growing it natural for a while. You date white boys?
Moi: Uh...
1: That's a yes.
Moi: Not exclusively
1: Okay...(wheels visibly turning)
Moi: (panicking) You're not going to fix me up or something, are you?
1: (unconvincing) No...
2: You gained a little weight, huh?
1: No makeup either?
Moi whimpers.
1: You have to come over my house one Friday night. I'll fix you up.
Moi: Okay...umm, I'll be right back.
Moi runs to the "bar" and downs a massive vodka and cranberry.