A thing I do that annoys me is obsess about my age. I'm 22. So what? I've been thinking about a lot of things this weekend cruising to a close, especially how I like to hide behind things. I hide behind the blog, my age, my pride, my memories, my fear, the Ex and those that once a held a piece of me.
In feeling stuck in limbo, I've felt inept. I hate feeling that I just can't do things -- it shakes something in me. Helplessness breeds dismay which brings overcompensation. If I can't have that perfect situation I hoped would fall into place by now, I'll be damned if I won't exert control over one aspect of my life. So you like me and you want to be with me? I'll make you wish you never met me because I'd rather have us both miserable now than have you pull the rug out from under me later on like they always do.
How fucked up am I? I'm tempted to run away from myself about now. I definitely need a break from this. It's getting a little too raw.
Posted by Candicissima at September 15, 2003 03:22 AM