This time last week, I was embracing the end of the school year by blowing off the work hunt for a few days. And of course, they had to rang my phone off the hook once I took advantage of a crazy $20 Jet Blue sale and took off for San Francisco. This visit was way more touristy overall, but I loved the revisit to the bizarro bar of my Brooklyn Cheers. And B, always awesome, and hopefully coming to my coast soon, so I can show him my personal wonderful crazed NYC.
After my second visit, I’m a little in love with the city. I don’t quite understand the million different transportation options, but I could really see myself there. PrincessNella and I wandered the streets, scoping out imaginary apartments and pretending that I was there permanently. Maybe I will make the move next year. It’s definitely a strong possibility.
Back in NYC, I’ve landed a freelance job that will last me to weeks before the Europe adventure. I’m stoked on life and everything right now, just trying to keep my life in order. July is coming up so far and I’m really trying to balance lining up all the ducks in row with the fun warm weather brings here.
I’ve been a little distracted though playing the what if game and that kicked up all sorts of feelings I’ve struggled with over the years with the blog. It’s a strange and weird thing to have a worldwide accessible diary of young adulthood. I can pull up posts that talked about my first loves, my first adult job, my first apartment, and all the heartache that came with that. I have made a conscious effort over the years to detangle myself (and all my emotions) from here, but there’s something so powerful just the same knowing that someone who has read from 2003 can read between the lines seven years later and know the real me I usually think I’m hiding so well.
There;s no denying that swiftly approaching 30, my life has taken weird turns that I’d have never imagined in 2003 as a bright-eyed 22-year old who thought I knew everything. But that’s just how life goes really. At this point, I want a brilliant summer and go back to school in the fall with a great thesis idea. I want to fulfill a longtime dream and explore Europe with no lingering regrets/nagging thoughts. I want fun, I want romance, I want satisfaction. I want everything and I feel like I’m in a place where I finally know how to get it.