One of the most important things I’ve taken from ’08 is despite the best intentions (and wishes, hopes, and dreams), sometimes shit just doesn’t work and you’ve got to pick up and move on. I’ve always been horrible with that kind of thing. I play tough, but occasionally I let things slip out of the marshmallow core and it’s hard to repack shit once you’ve let it out. When I’m in emo mode, I let that crap drive me to distraction without fail. And eventually I accept the shipwreck and let melancholy set in. In dark days, I wonder if it’s ever worth it since it always ends the same way. But, I know the answer is always yes. Sue me, I’m a closet romantic.
New Year’s was predictably insane. I flew around town like a comet and had a hard come down that’s taken all weekend to recover from. I’m trying to balance between waiting for things to happen (the app result, whether I’ll even have a job at the end of the week) and taking care of business (the neverending apartment decoration project, building a better me). I’m just trying to scale down the fuckups this year and make it to 2010 without too much dumb shit happening. I’m aiming low this year. It’s better that way.