It hit me yesterday that I’m not a spring chicken anymore. I’m not coming up on social security natch, but damn, I’m in my mid-20s! Talk about something sneaking up on you when you’re not paying attention! Age is nothing but a number blah blah, but “whatever I’m young” was my general go-to phrase when I realize I can be a bit of a fuck-up. “Damn, I never have any money. Savings? What’s that?” “Ah, whatever, I’m young. If you can’t be poor now, when?” “Shit, everyone’s all coupled down and getting engaged and shit. I’m such a loser.” “Whatever, I’m young. I’ve got plenty of years to worry about that.”
Yeah, I’m not so young really. Not that I’m going to go run and save and get a boyfriend post-haste or whatever. I think I’ve mostly begun looking forward to being a 30-something single cat lady with a crappy studio down the road. Hopefully making more money, but probably still having nothing to show for it. I think I’m just getting all angsty because of the job search. I’m fighting my urges to underplay, underplay, underplay and get some damned confidence and hustle to pursue what I really want. Whatever that is. Quarter-life crisis alert!
Meanwhile, most of last week was the extended birthday celebrations of PrincessNella. I drank too much and stayed out way too late three nights in a row. Sunday afternoon, I woke up fully dressed with pennies stuck to me (yeah…I dunno). It was mostly tame for me though. No extracurricular activities or anything but good clean friend type excitement. Minorly hilarious is the continuing streak of blast from the past encounters popping up all over the place. It was sort of like “Candice, this is your love life!” with randoms even as far back as high school popping out of the woodwork. It’s kinda like an evil joke, but I, in my infinite conceit, know I’m looking better while they’re looking worse pretty much across the board. Or maybe I always had bad taste. I’ve always been lazy and/or mildly retarded in that respect. Standards and morals have always been duking it out. Before I was almost angelic in my morality while picking arbitrarily and now all’s fair in lust and war while I think the quality is improving. I might be fooling myself though. Regardless, it’s all good. I think of it as story fodder.