Kitty Power

A Word From The Corner

I remembered today why I tend not to ever volunteer for anything: working for free is like putting your head in the guillotine and offering to release the blade yourself. I arrived at the fest at 9am, moderately bright-eyed and barely bushy-tailed to meet with my coordinator and fellow volunteers for the day.
Unfortunately, my partner was this kid my age that reminded me of a cousin of mine in a bad way. I’ve got this cousin I grew up with who I was mostly inseperable with because we lived so close together. And until I learned the art of sarcasm and my attention span and patience shrunk as my wit became sharper. He’s got the annoying habit of always asking questions and just going off on monologues about bullshit that makes me want to kill myself — or rather him — after no time. My fellow volunteer was like my cousin’s doppleganger and I really had to restrain myself from screaming “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” as I did to Hani on New Year’s when I lost my patience. But in this case, I wouldn’t have felt bad in the least.
In addition to the joy of spending time with him, there was the fact that we just kinda hung out watching cars go by until 11ish. A not-boss suggested we get to go home or watch a movie, but instead we were sent on a wild goose chase across Manhattan. We got to stroll from Tribeca to Battery Park City to Chinatown to the LES looking for something that doesn’t exist. Did I mention it was fucking hot? And a bird somewhere somehow shit on my sweater? And all I could afford to eat for lunch (since they didn’t provide that or anything despite us working a full day) was a 99 cent burger from a Crown that was smothered in mayonnaise? I fucking hate mayo. And instead of getting to leave at 6, we got to hung around until around 8 after the volunteer orientation meeting.
The best part is that I get to do it all again tomorrow! Fuck me. Who would’ve thought I’d be looking forward to sitting on my ass in a cubicle all day? It’s gotta be better than that.

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